Suhaib Shaukat
The hottest pick-up line these days is: I am vaccinated! The pandemic has changed the way that people have expressed love. Lock downs slowed down our hectic lives and gave us time to think about our relationships. As work moved online, so did romance! Our usual social haunts were locked up and people had to rely on technology to connect. In this piece, I will discuss how the dynamics of love changed during the pandemic.
Dating behaviour:
With the rest of our behaviours changing, so did dating. A very interesting study carried out in 2017 by McGill University offered an interesting perspective on how dating behaviour changes when people are worried about infectious diseases. They found that people begin to avoid dating and romance due to an element of the psyche which is known as the ‘behavioural immune system’. Researchers explained this was a phenomenon where when humans are concerned about diseases, they tend to avoid romancing.
But the pandemic also meant that more people began taking their romantic lives seriously. People who had previously preferred short-term relationships, now were interested in learning more about their partners and wanted long-term relationships. Speaking to Time, Michael Rosenfeld, a sociology professor who had studied dating patterns in the pandemic, said that in the wake of Covid-19, more people were using dating apps for committed relationships as opposed to casual hook-ups.
Marriages and divorces:
As someone who belongs to a culture where marriage is a wholesome celebration of love, the pandemic brought massive changes. Weddings are extravagant affairs where millions are spent. But the pandemic brought in restrictions that forced people to postpone or scale down their ceremonies. This came as a blessing in disguise for some couples, who wanted to have simple marriage ceremonies. Before this, there were numerous expectations from families to host extravagant weddings for couples. There were also memes, stating the fact that for people who are looking to marry, pandemic is the best time!
Another trend that was observed was the increase in the number of divorces. In the UK, there was a 122% increase in enquiries between July and October 2020. A charity by the name of Citizen’s Advice found that there was a spike in searches for online advice on finishing relationships. The same trends were observed in Sweden and China as well.
There were quite a few reasons for this. The pandemic took away the notion of well-established routines that offered comfort, stability, and rhythm in relationships due to which couples had difficulties carrying on living as they did before. It was observed that the divorce rate among young couples was higher. The pandemic was the first major challenge in their marriage, and it was a difficult one.
For some couples, mental health problems became the major contributor. Factors like financial instability, unemployment and restriction in entertainment created strains in relationships.
The impact of technology:
With everything under lockdown, it was nearly impossible to date anyone. Dating itself can be an intimidating process, let alone in the pandemic. As with everything, technology played an imperative role in making the process easier. Before the pandemic, there was online dating fatigue taking hold. Downloads for the top 15 dating apps were shrinking globally and research showed that online dating made people lonelier. Pandemic was great for the dating companies as it was reported that online dating was up 82% during the initial days of the pandemic. Dating apps were beneficial because despite their shortcomings, they were important in keeping people engaged in their love lives. These apps were also called “virtual emotional marketplace” during the pandemic. Moreover, the shift to dating apps was seen in the increased number of users as well as people spending more time on dating apps. On Tinder alone, it was found that users had 11 per cent more swipes and 42 per cent more matches, making 2020 the busiest year.
Dating apps were also quite flexible with their policy during the pandemic. As universities were closed in the US, students did not have the opportunity to mingle. To counter this issue, Tinder decided to change its 100 miles limit, so students were able to look for fellow university students even if they were more than 100 miles away.
Another feature dating apps introduced was the use of video calls. Dating online without meeting each other forms an unstable relationship, so major dating apps introduced a video call feature. The intimacy of video calls acted as a big leap forward for those who are just starting out in their relationships. It is almost like inviting someone to your house. The advantage of utilising the video call feature is that you can analyse a person’s behaviour more closely. Dating apps played an imperative role in reducing loneliness and allowing people to connect, despite being isolated from the world.
Future of love:
Sociologists have long warned us that physical touch is imperative to our well being. During the initial stages of a relationship, the key ingredient oxytocin is activated by touch. Oxytocin is a neurochemical known as the ‘love hormone’. It is fundamental in forming an attachment among humans. Although dating apps have helped us, in the long run, they are not a sustainable solution. The physics touch feature is not possible on dating apps, so it is now important for people to slowly resume their usual pre-pandemic dating practises.
As the world slowly comes out of the pandemic, managing relationships will not be easy. Covid-19 has shown us that human touch is one of the most important elements in our love lives. The dynamics of love have completely changed, and it is imperative the couples adjust their love lives accordingly.
